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Filtering by Tag: envy

The Mommy War Within

Jessalyn Hutto

My friend watched as I pulled a store-bought container of baby food out of the pantry and began feeding it to my screaming, and apparently famished son. “So, you aren’t making your own baby food anymore?” she playfully goaded. My pride immediately bubbled up within me, warming my body from head to toe. You see, there had been a time when I was able to joyfully steam, purée, and freeze fresh vegetables for my babies. But these days, when I am just happy to get three meals into all three of my little boys, where the baby food comes from is a little lower on the priority list.

I’m not sure what bothered me more in that moment: the thought that she previously assumed every ounce of baby food I put into my children was homemade (which has never been the case), or that she might now think less of me for not living up to my former ideals. She was probably thinking neither–simply commenting on something she remembered from the past and making inquisitive conversation–which makes my immediate, prideful reaction even more frustrating!

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